A Good day....but wow

I had a productive and good day today at work that actually winded up irritating me though when i got home. I went to Elmira today to meet with a customer who owns a rental property in a high drug area in Elmira. He has breaks ins almost daily and he wanted cameras and a security system to further protect his tenants. Ok cool. He was ready buy whatever i told him to so this sale was going to be easy. So to my surprise, when i pulled up to the building ...i was totally not expecting what i saw. This building was ...how can i say it...uh...uhm...trashy. I was surprised this house was standing. I mean literally..it looked like if i walked up the steps..the entire building was just going to fall on top of my head. Now the customer requested that i bring a demo kit. Ok cool. So this guy sees me dragging a suitcase (literally) that obviously has everything he needs to see in order to ensure he making the correct decision in investing in ADT. Do you think he holds the door for me to drag the suitcase in...NO...and then he has the nerve to want me to bring this suitcase upstairs and then back down the stairs and that's when i had to say no. After i said no,he showed me a place to put the kit and then we began our walk through. I thought the outside was bad but nah. As he was talking to me about what he wanted to secure ..i was either trying to avoid touching something or throwing up in my mouth. At times both. But ..low and behold i sold him what he needed, made some money and got the hell out of their.

But when i get back home, my manager called me and told me that i lost 2 sales, which means the 2 i had just sold replaced the 2 i lost so i broke even. Which leaves me still fighting to find 4 more units. This has been a tough month because I have lost a lot of units. Had i not lost anything this month..id be well over quota right now. But you know what, id rather take these hits now so that i can start off as clean as i can for December because I am going on vacation next month and id like to be at number before i go. Which means i have to work hard. So back to the grin tomorrow to find 4 more people that want security from me. All i do know is..i cant stand the house im in mainly because i am ready to move and i know that. But i thank god that i have never lived in an environment like that. Im glad the lord has always allowed me to find nice apartments because if i had to live in something like that i just dont know what i would do. Especially if i had to bring my kids there.I understand these landlords are in it for the money but damn....really. Would u live in something like that? I think not.

I have no significant purpose for the blog..i just felt like typing. GN!

7

So i have been thinking. I have been in reflection for the entire year of 2011. I have been in reflection because so much of my life has changed in less than 2 years. And again i remain humble because everything that i have accomplished (and this is just the tip of the ice burg) and everything that is soon to come i have to give complete and total honor to God. I claim nothing in my own well doing. He told me to do it and whether it was hard or easy and whether i understood the reason...i just did it. And anyone that knows me knows i have to be in control all the time. This time ...i couldn't take control even if i wanted so i learned to submit and do what the old saying says "Let go and let God".

But yesterday in church, listening to my pastor talk about Faith, the number 7 entered into my mind. And i thought about this number hard. And it hit me. My Marriage ended year 7. For 7 years after i have struggled and been beaten down during the time of trying to leave my husband, come to grips with closure regarding my marriage ending and then trying to figure out my finances and how to get on my feet for me and my kids. I did this for 7 years.

Now...i am at peace in terms of being happy internally now. I am finally learning how to manage my money and God is giving me the ability to earn more. I promised him that if he helped me get out of the financial mess i created, i would do the right thing. I intend to keep that promise. I am dealing with my issues that affect my friends who love me. I am trying to be a better mom to my daughters. I am trying to be a better sister and daughter. I am trying to finally conquer the habit of eating like shit and not working out. I am trying to work out and i am trying to eat healthier. But this like the financial habit is hard to kick but I'm doing it. I am even learning how to be a good woman to a man and trying to sort through my issues so that i offer up the best of me. Because their is a best of me. Now with that being said....there is one issue that i ...ok...that i have half way began to draw a conclusion to and that is my soon to be ex husband. SIGH!! The divorce thing is underway so i can breathe for now on that one. I am just hoping that nothing stops it or gets in the way this time. The other side of this issue is drawing an ending to the harassing situation i find myself in with this man which is the issue of Child Support, which long story short he doesn't want to pay. In addition to the fact that he doesn''t want to give me anything towards the children unless he feels like it. I knew this situation would get worst once his baby got her. I understood this would happen because I'm sure his girlfriend that he lives with wants what every woman wants (especially when you share a child) the opportunity to have a family and raise it effectively. This young lady has been married before and for whatever reason she is not with her husband, I am sure she wants better for herself and her 2 daughters. I get it.

But what i don't get and never will is how me as the ex with the 2 existing children can stop being attacked every time my ex realizes he is broke and cant do shit for anyone. I don't understand how to put an end to this. I have ignored him repeatedly because i refuse to have another conversation about anything concerning this man and making him understand the responsibility of having children and helping me raise and take care of them regardless of anything else he ever does. He doesn't get that and i get that. But what i need to know is how i can draw a conclusion to this because ignoring him is not enough. I am tired of talking to friends about this because quite honestly they tied of hearing it. But I'm tired of living it and this is the one area that i cannot find peace in. I don't want to  make him do anything but leave me the hell alone.

So if anyone can tell me what to do...please let me know. How can i stop being harassed so i can move on? I am sick and tired of this being apart of my life and others are tired of hearing and knowing it happens ...including my children. I am open to suggestions because at this point ignoring is not working.

I am in a relationship that has been through its challenges. We have been 5 together for 5 years off and on and i swear a year ago when we broke up, I would never get back with him again. I was done. But it seemed like the breakup was the greatest thing that could have happened to the both of us. It made us realize just how much we really appreciate and need each other. No doubt, reconciling was not easy. Mainly because he hurt me twice. But it hit me that neither one of us had really dealt with our pasts and during our breakup we had plenty of time to talk and understand each other without the the pressures of a relationship. We became the friends we should have become first. I guess i am blogging about this because it just amazes me that 1 year ago we were not together and not sure what to do and today i can say i am happier with this man than i ever thought i could be. I am enjoying our moment. Truly enjoying the moment. Now don't get me wrong.. he gets on my nerve and i on his. But i never imagined that i could be SOOOO incredibly happy with this man.

I just needed to get this off my chest cause my heart is fluttering like butterflies were carrying it away.

Now im going to bed because i am exhausted from Jersey and the fiasco that was cheer leading. GN