New Years

So for NY i was in Jersey celebrating my girl birthday and doing something different and something i haven't done in a few years....ring the year in with the girls i love. Its been awhile. We went to the Nuyorican which is a poetry club in NYC. I was looking forward to it. I haven't been to a poetry club were i can listen to true poets express themselves through verbal expression since high school. I must say i found the experience to be different and i think a piece of me creatively was reawakened. There was one guy who i was just feeling on a creative level. He came in 2nd (i believe) but he should've been number 1 cause he was right in your face with his creativity. is poem was the first one i heard walking into the cafe and i was sold after that. My energy actually changed before we got into the cafe though. A guy dressed as Jesus appeared out of nowhere and for like 3 minutes I am honestly going to say i was shook. Mainly because i know my life is changing but i am far from done. I have 2 kids i want to finish raising and be around for and i just know i have not even begun the work that god has set for my life. It made me realize that i have wasted a lot of Gods time with Bullshit (sorry lord). I have wasted about 7 years of my life that i cannot get back on Bullshit and that night as we stood in line waiting to get in, i got quiet because i became enraged with myself. I spent the rest of the night thinking. And i spent the few minutes before i went to sleep that night asking God for his forgiveness. I know that that Jesus was not the real thing but what if it had been. I was even prepared and i vowed that from now on, i am going to continue being about Gods business and seeking his face for direction in my life. I also have vowed to not let another moment in my life even entertain another moment of bullshit. I vow to be focused on what i am supposed to be doing and get to the next level.

With that being said. I had fun. I missed my kids and my man My daughters birthday is the same day as Ebs and even though i had a much needed break from my kids...i missed them.I missed my man too Much as he ride my nerve...i really missed him. I am glad though that i have a guy that is fine with me living my life and wanted me to go and spend time with my girls. He knew the importance of the trip and he knew i missed Eb so much. I am glad that i'm with someone who lets me be me. I don't have to hear him complaining about not having me under him at every moment of life. He lets me be me. He called me while i was there to make sure i was having fun and to let me know how his life was going in Rochester but for the most part he just wanted to know that i was ok and having fun and that was all he cared about. That made me feel so good.

So i am in week 1 of 2012 and have already been given my marching orders for the year. I have to move. To where ..i don't know. Destiny enters high school next year and where she goes depends on this move. This year i am also going to become certified to become a Real Estate agent cause i want to make money all the time. And i want to be worth 6 figures by the time i turn 40. Nuff said. I just pray that i do what i am suppose too. I know God is going to steer me i the right direction. I just gotta sit down and wait til he put the signal light on.